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May 11, 2012
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"Very good, my prized student, you successfully blocked my attack." An old, cracked voice croaked through the air in the lush grassy forest. The speaker was an old elfin man, voice full of praise for the young girl that stood in front of him. This was no usual girl, her visible eye was hazel, and the other hidden by the long purple bangs that hung over the left half of her face. She was unusually tall for a ten year old, like the man she was Elfin but her skin was pale blue. The girl was clad in a simple brown tunic and dark blue trousers. Armour covered her shoulders and her wrists were encased in armoured gauntlets.

"I am ready to have another go when you are, Eecon!" She growled, raising her Katana in front of herself defensively. Her chain mail skirt jingled as she shifted her pose.

"No, Meegon." Eecon smiled. "You are young and have trained enough for today. Go, get some rest."

Meegon sighed and sheathed her Katana in the scabbard that hung on her back. She nodded.

"Okay, thank you very much, Eecon."

Eecon nodded in reply and the young girl climbed the tree into her hut.

A few years later, a grown woman that bore a slight resemblance to Meegon, made her way into the forest. Bows pointed her way but the beautiful elfin woman whipped her staff and cast a spell that rendered the archers motionless.
"Dear Eecon, I have come for my daughter, I want to speak to her."

Eecon approached her cautiously.
"And, what if she does not want to speak to you, Konniechora?" His calm blue eyes locked on to her violent hazel eyes.

"I want to speak to Meegon NOW!" Konniechora replied forcefully.

"No." Eecon answered calmly. "I am not letting you see her as long as I live. You left her here to await her death. What kind of mother does that? You are not worthy to be a mother."

Konniechora let out a heavy sigh and left with an angry flick of her violet ponytail and a mutter, casting a spell on her sleeping daughter. A few hours later the 13 year old Meegon, now dressed in a full chain mail tunic, approached him her broad sword drawn.

"I am only going to ask you once, where is my mum?"
:iconecs-overlord:

Meegon's Storyby ECs-Overlord

Literature / Prose / Fiction / Fantasy / Short Stories©2012-2014 ECs-Overlord
A prequel to chapter 5 of the Elfin Chronicles.
Picture by :iconbobstickles:
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:iconpuddingvalkyrie:
PuddingValkyrie Featured By Owner May 13, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is pretty good, if a bit short. =3

Here go my corrections...

"Armour hung over her shoulders and gauntlets were over her wrists."
I feel like this is an awkward description.
'Armour covered her shoulders and her wrists were enclosed in gauntlets' might be better.

"You are not fit to be her mother" would be better than "You are in no condition" as that implies it's Konnie's physical or emotional condition that's the problem, rather than her overall behaviour or attitude.

I agree with Digipup about the 'a woman so much like Meegon but older' thing. Maybe you could try 'a woman, similar in appearance to Meegon if she were but older' or something like that.
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:iconecs-overlord:
ECs-Overlord Featured By Owner May 13, 2012
Alright its meant to be, its a filler between chapters 4&5 but is not that important, something I did cuz I love writing Meegon .... I will make all corrections tomorrow.
Thanks.
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:icondigipup:
digipup Featured By Owner May 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nicely done. I would change the description of 'so much like Meegon but older' to something else though, it sounds like you sort of just rushed through it. Try 'so much like Meegon, but of a womanly nature rather than a girl's' or something. In that same paragraph I'd also suggest rewording the 'a few years later' thing, because at first I was confused as to whether it was just an older Meegon, or if it was Konnie.

Also, this is just a technique thing and isn't really a problem, but it always irks me when I see people write out 'ok'. It's just so... choppy, and breaks the flow of writing. I much prefer to see it spelled 'okay.' But that's just me be being nitpicky, so don't worry about it.
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:iconecs-overlord:
ECs-Overlord Featured By Owner May 11, 2012
I shall do the rewording tomorrow. Cannot be bothered right now.
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:icondigipup:
digipup Featured By Owner May 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Suit yourself.
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:iconecs-overlord:
ECs-Overlord Featured By Owner May 11, 2012
I spent three hours writing this.
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:icondigipup:
digipup Featured By Owner May 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay?
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:iconecs-overlord:
ECs-Overlord Featured By Owner May 11, 2012
Yep
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